In acting on my diligent nature as a responsible feline citizen I feel it is my duty and pleasure to spread the word on Little Known Feline Ailments in order to prevent the occurance wherever possible. Here is an excerpt but I urge you to read in full the report on clinical symptoms to be alert for.

For those lax in clicking, (those long digits must tire so!) here is a sample of a key LKFA, namely IRRITABLE LAP SYNDROME

“Symptoms: The cat appears unable to settle comfortably on laps, instead treading, kneading, rearranging itself, fidgeting, vocalizing, getting up and turning around, falling off lap and getting back on again, attacking magazines, needlework, computer keyboard, telephone, etc.

Treatment: Immediate treatment is essential. Drop whatever you are doing (literally if need be) and give 100% attention to the sufferer otherwise symptoms may escalate and become quite distressing to the lap-owner. Only prolonged attention will cure an attack of Irritable Lap Syndrome. Like Collapsible Legs this syndrome is incurable, although attacks may be effectively treated as and when they occur.”