I like sitting on chairs. The simians have shut me out the room with two of them. This is particularly unfortunate because its a good nap room with shelves with lights in them that heat up the cubbyhole nicely plus it has a black and white surface that makes lvoely sounds when I walk across it at midnight. They are such fickles power-vying people. It’s as if they think they opwn the territory. Simians, what can you do?

The simians don’t often let me into the bathroom with them. They are private about their toilettries as I am. I do my best to disappear if they should happen upon me while I do my business. In the name of xenobiology however, I feel it is more than my duty, but my curiosity to observe for myself. The textbooks on digestions are useful enough schematics and the smell tells me that they too are as biological as I am with the same life essentials. I have observed that they so have a lack of limberness of limbs that may be an obstacle to clean the nether regions. My texts are inordinately quiet on this. I had wondered if they didn’t expediently groom each other but my own eyes show they tend to go in the bathroom alone and any grooming comes so late after the said business to be pointless. I have tried sneaking myself in on their heals but have been summarily removed. I have tried rushing the room with meows when the door is ajar to see if I can’t sneak a peak but have learned little.

But having positioned myself by stealth in the bathtub behind the curtain I was able to hop to a good vantage point on the side to see the behavior in action. I know from experience with the phone ringing that the simians cannot get far fast with their pants about their ankles and more often than not just let the phone rung so deduced that my chances were good that they wouldn’t chase me out. I was right and you know, that roll of paper in the bathroom is more than cat amusement to bat nad make go in circles with replaceable sheets to put across teh room? They use that in lieu of tongues. A cat learns something new each moon.

The construction seems less loud today. If there’s one advantage of living here it has conditioned my colleague to be unalarmed by sudden sounds. However distracting it is to meditation, the constancy of noise seems to have calmed her nerves greatly over the past few moons.

I’m with the hound dogs with these ones and the rest of their Pet Peeves about Humans
1. Blaming your farts on me… not funny, not very funny at all.
2. Yelling at me for barking… I’M A DOG, YOU IDIOT!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

Ah, still, they’re not all bad. I could use one right about now to take the nip off the whiskers.Outside is freezing drizzle making a constant-irregular hiss-pips on the glass. It’s a dull day that never saw a spot of sun. I’ve been curled up in my tail most of the day. Here’s a very smart idea of How to survive a winter Have the hairlesses turned down the heat? It’s probably mostly the whispers of wind more than the whipping away of heat from the glass. With everything white out there it looks colder.

Sounds transmit so well through glass. Just moments ago was sleeping, my legs popcorning explosions of motion as I ran that sunny field then my ever alert ears detected the neighbours’ window being tapped, then the glass being wound open. Feeling the vibrations I naturally leapt to the window sill to see what was going on. Not much as it turns out but its good to be informed. I went into a few neck bobs and hunched my shoulders and I brrrriips and time to run a few courses around teh room and get the ole blood flowing again.

The lap of luxury is a particularly appropriate simian idiom. That doesn’t mean any other lounging nook, crook or cleft on their body’s are any worse for resting in or across. I like the melted butter over the foothills position myself with my chin resting on a fold of their blanket to cute it up to the max. Being beautiful to each other so increases bonding and therefore happiness, I find.

There’s something different about hairless tom. I scan his face. Aha. Not a hair on his chinny chin chin! I triangulate from the points of his lower jaws and take it in. I must admit I have tried at times to mentally entirely fur the fellow and the miss, but never tried imagining him with less. It works well enough for him but I’ll keep my own hairy jaw as is. With just a little more arranging. There. Back to my usual immaculate.

As I patrolled my territory, all the paces it takes to sashay the 38 (plus a kitten) nose-to-anus greeting length of its midline, I risked experiential-body-mind separation and thought summery thoughts to take off the night chill — visualized sunshine cutting early morning fog and the crunchy cricket fare that would soon turn to the nose tickling petals of butterfly scales, juicy abdomens oozing variety into a so much kibble diet. I feel the spritz of souls broken open for my palate and jabobson and thank Cattess Mror for their sacrifice. I felt the looseness of my own skin around me as I moved through nebulae of physics and breathed in the wonderous.

You must already know how I love pillows. Not a passive love but a treadling goodness of pure love. For sleeping I prefer a thin mat or simple sheet of paper to keep the chill of the concrete floor from leaching into my bones too much. I’m an ascetic in that way. One cannot properly meditate or concentrate mental energies on too soft of seat.

You know may also that I love a clear vantage point, pressing myself to the glass. I have recently “found” myself a piece of ass that offers the benefits of both height and softness. It can be hard to get the simian to roll over but a cold wet nose to the inner elbow or whiskers tickling the face just so can entice a rollover onto comically single pair of nipples. Then I can perch on the rear, see well, receive radient heat and dig claws in most effectively when my patience waiting for food has run out. Ah, some days I feel ever so clever with my wake-up innovations

Being of scientific bent, I like training manuals and I recently found one of high use for a specialist such as myself. It’s called One Hundred Ways for a Cat to Train its Human Although I have become accomplished in many of the techniques, it’s always handy to have a larger arsenal. This Celia Haddon who writes, I wonder if it isn’t a nom de plume of a cat? I won’t ruin the read for you by revealing too much but this one I have put into recent use and find it effective as she says for “Attention Purrlease! Place your bottom firmly on the newspaper yuor human is reading, being careful to cover the area scanned by its eyes.”

Wonderful precision. I hadn’t attended to the eye scan aspect. A delightful refinement for the attention getting effectiveness

.flickr-photo { border: solid 1px #000000;}.flickr-yourcomment {}.flickr-frame { float: left; width: 150px; text-align: center; padding: 3px; margin-right: 10px;}.flickr-caption { font: 75%;/* color: #666666; */ margin-top: 0px;}.flickr-buddyicon { margin-right:5px; vertical-align:middle; border: solid 1px;}.flickr-postedby { font: 75%;}

0340786051, originally uploaded by Cat/nips/naps.

If you see this in your local information store, I’d recommend you cats, get your paws. Don’t mouse out.