—
knee to thigh on steps
locked observatory door
what ever could we do?
—
One Deep Breath Prompt: Unseen
—
reader
I think, perhaps, what I need is a stable of poet and non-poet readers who don’t know my life history so they can’t use that as a cheat sheet. I want the poems seen by someone in isolation of building it into a personality or image of a whole person. I want it looked at dispassionately. I want to know if poems stand on their own.
For these purposes, I don’t need people to talk to me about syntax or effectiveness of poem, not good or bad, or liked or dislikes, or interesting or not, just does the plot or content get thru. Just paraphrase or reparse or just jist. Repeat back to me the predominant mood or message.
Eventually I’ll be able to see that with any given piece, when I become a foreigner to my own words again, but I want the cycle faster.
—
( – )
driven forward
with fellow immortal
in 93 had driven Cape Breton
the careen of steep breath
splash crashing stonedrop
the depth width of pupils
naked from the waist
down at 125 cruising speed
policeless pleasing carless
stretch, each the only
each
the only being alive
wriggling
god and god
fellow immortal
lost his key to Olympus
in 99. A T-crash
bloodied steering wheel
of senior blinded by sunset
cracked his sternum*
His loss was mine
suddenly yoked to terminable
was as if a parent had died
left a middle-aged orphan
no tight hugs to say goodnight
ceiling doom, staring up
unspeakable shortlife,
nerves jangled
*in the relevant moment
too busy, forgot to make a wish
re-livid roadside uncurling into
whip lashed replays, can insert:
nothing can ever change?
How can Hercules call helplines
bill payment sorted, have tense should
-ers, ums… sleep hums though the
mortal fellow, eyelid a fallen petal
under my chapped lips
click for more
Rather than full repeat of post in two places, I’ll try this: Antigonish Review, Contemporary Poetry Review, and a bunch of other poetry things at other blog on why, how and where of Poetry.