Some recent mullings around the idea closeness to jot on the excuse of Prompt 73: Closeness.
Not all constitute haiku’s brevity and resolvedness, suggestion rather than tell. Some are more lyrical shorts, one more an outline than a tanka, but decide as you may…
**
from 3 rooms away
a breath change. Response:
“something you want to share?”
**
the knife bloodier
than the finger
skeptical goodness
**
bundle of dog
sniffing
leashed by a look
**
100 acre farmsteads
fences in fallow –
who’s your neighbour?
**
George Mercer Dawson‘s
memoir of portage,
1870s swamp –
dad’s story of cow,
Bear Island quicksand
**
tight as hot oil
to wrist skin
the word “buddy”
**
boy in the crosswalk
adjusts shoulders
matches his Dad’s
**
walk thru a space
one person wide
– bang width of 2
**
a double-headed shoulder
a couple watches stage
**
eavesdrop surprised skin
leaning in a private word:
“ma’am fight against
the revolution”
leaf wet night street
**
the tip-tap
nails approach
dawn
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one breath haiku
Hard to think about form while reading these exquisite pieces. Each one better and more vivid than the last. Enjoyed!
http://firsttumblewords.blogspot.com
I enjoyed all of these, but really liked the first (change of breath) and the seventh (boy imitating his father).
— Rae Trigg (raetrigg.blogspot.com)
great series. ‘leashed by a look’ is a wonderful line!
~greggo (greggoanonymous.blogspot.com)
I love the first and last best.
I like that the 6th is ambiguous (well, to me at least :).
closenss
“something to share” and “leashed look” are fantastic! What fun you’re having with this!
These are great, Pearl! My favorites –the crosswalk and leashed by a look
Sandy from gardenpath
fabulous offerings…so many times i have seen one of my sons match their father’s posture – your words to capture that are beautiful!
fabulous offerings…so many times i have seen one of my sons match their father’s posture – your words to capture that are beautiful!
(qualcosa di bello)